Writing From the Past

There are days I finally feel comfortable in my surroundings. There are moments I think everything has finally fallen into place. And there are seconds when anger sets in only to be replaced momentarily with a threatening brim of water in my eyes.

I am tired. Tired of broken promises, tired of replaced plans, tired of being left in the dust. And so you say, do something about it! So I do, and again I face those broken promises, replaced plans and a ball of dust in my face.

Maybe I’m the common factor in this equation? I really thought I was doing better. I really thought I was facing my struggles. I really thought I had friends who cared.

But tonight I faced those same broken promises, replaced plans and a ball of dust in my face. I struggled with momentary anger followed by a threatening brim of water in my eyes, and I wondered, why am I not good enough? What does everyone else have that I don’t?

And this feeling of utter loneliness crept in and decided to stay the night. And if I’m lucky it will leave in the morning. There are no promises though, and if there were I probably wouldn’t believe them anyway.

So I ask myself again, why am I not good enough? What does everyone else have that I don’t? Is my heart only made for breaking?

If you find the answers be a dear and pass them along. I’ll be waiting.

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Every Day Life | TGIF

Thank the good lord it’s Friday! For some Friday fun I’m posting a few things from my “All things fun” board on pinterest! To see the full board click here!

For all of us on the east coast who are dying for SUMMER, who doesn’t want a pool like this in their backyard??

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How ridiculous is it that I am completely smitten with the idea of a bookshelf staircase?! Come on people!

c74f301b2cf2094651e1364558bf1ad7This one is for the photog friends! Just tell me when and where I get one!

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No explanation needed.
46d2a946bb8edc3e01c6b62d0f1eea4dLoser. Is that what you’re thinking when you see this?! Not me, it’s totally adorable, although I can’t decide what’s better the coffee mug or the ice cream container?

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And…well because who doesn’t like FRIENDS, here’s a menu idea for your next dinner party! 7458666aefca09a66d83de501ee0b352

 

Happy Friday! Have a fabulous weekend friends : )

 

 

 

American Girl Fashion Show | South Jersey Event Photographer

Two weekends ago J and I shot the American Girl Fashion Show with The Ronald McDonald House of Southern New Jersey!! This was my third time shooting the show and each year gets better and better!! It is such a great cause and the girls have so much fun! Find out more information about the Ronald House of SJ here

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Free Write | Like A Ferris Wheel

The way my story goes feels like a ferris wheel. One that never stops spinning and yet somehow manages to let people off – or out of my story. Sometimes I wish I could get off the ferris wheel and create a new story for myself…but then I remember how far I’ve come.

To say that I am 100% where I want to be in my life at this moment would be a lie. Most people would probably agree that they aren’t where they want to be either. Yet we keep forging on, writing page after page, crossing out and erasing what we don’t want to include. And the chapters begin to grow. Or maybe they don’t because you have writers block and just don’t know how to make that one chapter end. So you keep spinning around on the ferris wheel waiting for someone to stop it for you. But it doesn’t happen. Not for me, or you, or the president or even God. Because if someone stopped the ferris wheel for you they would be writing the end of that chapter and the story would blend between theirs and your own.

I’ve been a writer since as long as I can remember and a huge part of that came from needing an escape. Although the story I keep adding to all these years later is my own, somehow writing it made it feel less like I was living it. And the more painful or tragic things that happened in my life, the longer my chapters got, the thicker my story became.

As I continue to learn the secrets this life holds for us I realize that most of the story has been about the things that happened in my life that I couldn’t control. The more things I couldn’t stop from happening the more I wrote. The more I was affected by the stories around me the more narrow mine became.

Recently I haven’t written much and that scares me because what if my ability to write only comes out of the bad things that have happened or may happen to me? What if my story continues to stay on a narrow path? Who is in control of my story then? Who decides how my chapters end?

My ferris wheel of a life is still spinning and it probably always will be because the person I am cares to much, loves with every fiber in my body, and puts herself out there to help anyone who needs it. The difference now is that my ferris wheel is going to include a much prettier view and my story will broaden and I will choose how my chapters end.

Not every day is going to be wonderful but that doesn’t mean my story shouldn’t be.

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South Jersey Photography | Support The Ronald McDonald House

Hey guys! Happy Friday!! As some of you may know this weekend is the American Girl Fashion Show with Ronald McDonald!! If you’re not attending the show or would like to give back to the Ronald House check out the information below!! SpringPromo

Hillmann Family | Family Photographer

I’m sure you are all familiar with Ryan and Julia at this point! They have continuously made the blog throughout the years and this time their mom and step-dad jumped in for a few shots! I can NOT believe how big these two have gotten!! I still think of Jul as a little 3 year old with curly hair!!

Happy Wednesday! We’re halfway to the weekend : )

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The Roaring 20s | Commercial & Event Photographer

Back in December J & I shot an event at Wyngate at Medford for Bob Meyer Communities . It was an absolute blast and EVERYONE involved had such a great time! There were even entertainers, can you guess who they are from the photos below?! Check out the details and outfits below, and don’t forget to head over to their page on facebook to check out the newest happenings!

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