There are days I finally feel comfortable in my surroundings. There are moments I think everything has finally fallen into place. And there are seconds when anger sets in only to be replaced momentarily with a threatening brim of water in my eyes.
I am tired. Tired of broken promises, tired of replaced plans, tired of being left in the dust. And so you say, do something about it! So I do, and again I face those broken promises, replaced plans and a ball of dust in my face.
Maybe I’m the common factor in this equation? I really thought I was doing better. I really thought I was facing my struggles. I really thought I had friends who cared.
But tonight I faced those same broken promises, replaced plans and a ball of dust in my face. I struggled with momentary anger followed by a threatening brim of water in my eyes, and I wondered, why am I not good enough? What does everyone else have that I don’t?
And this feeling of utter loneliness crept in and decided to stay the night. And if I’m lucky it will leave in the morning. There are no promises though, and if there were I probably wouldn’t believe them anyway.
So I ask myself again, why am I not good enough? What does everyone else have that I don’t? Is my heart only made for breaking?
If you find the answers be a dear and pass them along. I’ll be waiting.