I have been having a hard time sleeping lately and in the wake of that I am trying to write. I write about school, family, photography, me. I journal my life. Today I flipped through my journal, my thoughts from the past few weeks and I thought there might be others out there feeling a similar way. Although the Holidays are coming you might feel lost, exhausted, overwhelmed. Try not to loose sight of what really is important to you. There are reasons for days like today…..
I‘m learning to breath. To think carefully about what I’m going to say before I say it. I’m learning to give up control on certain aspects of my life that I cant fix. Im learning to walk away from a pointless argument. As much as I understand we all have a path I sometimes don’t understand mine. I don’t understand the direction I’m moving or why I’m moving so quickly and then suddenly I’m stopped. I don’t understand why I’m sure of myself one minute and completely lost in the next.
This crazy-busy-wonderful-magical-confusing-thrilling-scarry life was given to each of us for a reason. We were given permission to dream. Dream out loud to the world, to ourselves, to each other. We were given a chance to do what makes us happy. We get to choose who stays and who goes and who we cant live without. We get to choose how we want to live our lives every day. We get to choose the person we want to be. The goals we strive to reach are ours, and what we do with them is up to us.
So live your life out loud, follow your path, reach for the stars until your dreams are your reality. You might not obtain them the first time you reach but dont give up.
Wish on a shooting star and you just might catch it.
There are days like today when the overwhelming exhaustion has taken over my body and I don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough. My dreams feel too big, unattainable, out of reach. There are days like today when I’ve been awake for 17 hours and have gotten nothing done. There are days like today when the smallest change in plans feels like the world is falling apart and I should probably just go back to bed right then. I have worked so hard the past few months on the things that make me happy but on days like today, I don’t feel good enough. When my head feels like its spinning out of control and I just want to press the pause button. When I need three cups of coffee just to make it past 9am. There are days when I feel I am putting a lot more effort into the relationships in my life versus what I am getting out of them. Days I think it’s not worth it. How could it possibly be worth it if I’m doing all the work? It’s days like today that I drive the long way home just to be able to let my mind run in quiet. When I physically feel my impatience wearing so thin that the crying baby at the coffee shop might hear a thing or two from me. Days that I would rather skip over altogether.
But it’s because of these days that I have good ones. That I can help others, drink one cup of coffee and be ready to get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off. Those things that make me happy? They’re attainable and my dreams feel a little more reachable. It takes days like today to have days like tomorrow.